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Anonymous US official drops bombshell: Putin is an alien!


People consider that Vladimir Putin has many secret abilities. Besides being the President of Russia, he is accused of being an alien.

“We’ve known for some time now that Mr. Putin is extraterrestrial. We’re convinced it explains his erratic behavior and reluctance to integrate himself and Russia into the international community,” the unnamed official told the BBC’s Panorama program.

The worrying warning is not the first of its kind. Putin has regularly been accused of hiding the truth about himself from the world, although this is the first time a US official has directly accused the Russian strongman of being an alien.

The Panorama report also confirmed that when Putin disappeared for a week last year, he had in fact been visiting his home planet, RU-thless84.

Little information is known about the mysterious birthplace of the Russian president, but the official could confirm that the conditions — thought to be at least ten times colder than earth — would make it uninhabitable for regular humans.

Although some Russians would probably manage, he said. Asked whether this could be where Putin hides his secret billions, the official said that US authorities have been looking into it and preliminary findings suggest the planet to be the most likely location for the president’s money.

“Look, we haven’t been able to confirm he has that €40 billion here on earth, but that doesn’t mean anything. An uninhabitable planet would be the perfect hiding place.”

Until now, US officials had believed that Putin’s personal secrets were less other-worldly. Most believed he was secretly married to a former Olympic gymnast and the father of at least two of her secret children. It was also rumored that the Russian president was hiding various forms of cancer and seeking therapy for his Asperger’s syndrome.



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